PolarLava::Blog

I hate April fools day.  Every now and then somebody will come up with something witty, but for the most part it's all just obvious bullshit.  I haven't the time or patients for it.  Sorry.

So this morning I got up at 4:15am, got dressed and went riding outside before work for the first time this season.  I did get out and ride on both Saturday and Sunday in addition to my bonus early season ride, so I guess this is marks the start of another outdoor cycling season for me.

I've been hoping that I might be able to log more miles this year than I have in the past few years now that my little ones are out of the fussy at night baby age.  I even got started again after the holidays sooner that I ever have.  But this morning proved what I already knew; I'm old, fat and slow.  Actually there are four parts to the cause of this morning not going well.

1. The battery pack for my lighting system needs to be replaced again.  I knew as soon as I unplugged it this morning that there was likely a problem as the batteries were not warm and the charger was fairly hot.  This was the same symtoms of the batteries failing a couple 2-3 years back.  And when I started using it, it just wasn't putting out a lot of light.  That's a big problem when you are riding on bad roads in the dark.  Later in the seasons it's less of a problem as you start to learn where the really bad potholes are, but right now that's somewhat of a mystery.  This naturally slows you down because you can't see as well.

2. I also forgot my water bottle this morning!  I really can't remember the last time I did that, but without water that also slows you down after a while.

3. I'm carrying too much dead weight as excess fat.  I'm 4 pound heavier today than I was at this time last year.  I always expect to be a bit heavy at that start of the season, but this year is worse than ever before.  Hopefully with some discipline and hard work I will be able to shed it or convert it to muscle mass in a reasonably short period of time.  Being at about 152 right now would be good, although my target weight is actually 148.  This of course sends my wife into a tizzy as she thinks that's too thin.  I'd be happier with more weight, but only if it is muscle mass.  It's been several years since I was that light, but I also did some of my best riding then.

4. The other reality is I'm getting older.  It's harder to get out of bed, I hurt more and it takes longer to recover.  Getting back into shape and maintaining a fairly constant weight and working out year round would go a long way towards making all of this easier.

Must be disciplined and mentally strong!

I discovered yesterday that Paul Henning died last Friday.  You may not recognize Paul by his name, but it's quite likely you know his work.  Particularly if you are in the 35+ crowd…can you say "The Beverly Hillbillies", "Petticoat Junction" or "Green Acres"?

These are shows I have fond memories of and still catch in reruns early in the morning while working out.  As part of The Beverly Hillbillies, Paul penned "The Ballad of Jed Clampett", which I used as the basis of The Ballad of Joe Barbie for the SFFL trophy.

Thanks for all the laughs Paul.

If this is truly the case, it's incredibly shortsighted.  Are there really people out there that believe that only teaching abstinence is going to stop teens from having sex?  This might work in some parts of the country, but do you really believe this is going to work in most urban areas, particularly inner-cities?  Get real.  Last I checked, telling people —children and adults alike, to "pay no attention to the man behind the curtain" does nothing but to cause them to look.

Oh, and it's good to see that as this bus rolls down the highway it's next stop will be to pick up "intelligent design".  This will be necessary after running over evolution in textbooks because it's "just a theory".  That may be true, but creationism or "intelligent design" has no more solid evidence than evolution in my book.

Regardless of what you believe, whatever happened to critical thinking?

Well…I've taken the quiz and I've learned I'm more demented than I ever imagined…

If i was a serial killer i would be Albert Fish. "Albert Fish was a masochistic, pedophile obsessed with religious themes such as sin, sacrifice, and redemption through pain. It is believed that he would force his own children to beat him with a nail studded paddle until he bled. He would also stick nails underneath his finger nails,into his groin, his scrotum and his anus. He forced himself to eat feces and would stick alcohol soaked cotton balls up his anus and set them on fire." "Fish believed that God wanted him to castrate boys, which he would do over the course of many years, finally to be caught for kidnapping, murdering and eating a 10 year old girl. Fish claims to have molested over four hundred children. Police charged him with eight but suspect him on fifteen." Kill count: unconfirmed Find what serial killer you would be, take the Serial Killer Quiz now!