Friday, July 16, 2010

Child Custody, Darwin Style

Meet Dwayne Lamont Moten. Unfortunately you can't because he has a previous engagement with Charles Darwin.  You see, Mr. Moten decided that Mr. Darwin should mediate his child custody dispute.

So as you can see, the child custody issue has been resolved.  Unfortunately for his rocket scientist friend, Jacob Wheeler he's got himself a new problem, a murder rap.  And I say "new problem" because this makes that "unrelated aggravated robbery charge" seem reasonable.

July 16, 2010 @ 09:33 pm | Category:
Tuesday, January 05, 2010

2009 Darwin Award Winners!

It's that time of the year again…the time when you can contemplate how you can best take yourself out of the gene pool.  You might garner some inspiration from the 2009 Darwin Award Winners.  Hopefully this will inspire your creative stupidity to be a 2010 winner!
January 5, 2010 @ 12:42 pm | Category:
Thursday, April 02, 2009

Those Tricky Car Locks!

If you're locked INSIDE your car, I believe the appropriate response from 911 is simply "I'm sorry, there's nothing we can do and you're going to die."  It's best for the greater good of humanity.
April 2, 2009 @ 09:07 pm | Category:
Wednesday, March 04, 2009

McNuggets and Christian Salt

Following on the heels of yesterday's Breastfeeding While Driving, today we have the brain trust that goes by the name of Latreasa Goodman.  It seems Latreasa thought it was acceptable to call 911, not once, not twice, but three times to complain that her local McDonald's ran out of McNuggets.  I'll agree she should have promptly gotten a refund when she asked for one, but you can't call 911 for that.

Next we have Joe Godlewski of Cresaptown, MD who is selling "Christian Salt".  This is sea salt that has been blessed by an Episcopal priest.  And why is he doing this?  "I said, 'What the heck's the matter with Christian salt?'"  This being because TV chefs always recommended kosher salt in recipes.  Ah, once again we are saved by religion.

Darwin, please save us from the shallow end of the gene pool!
March 4, 2009 @ 10:10 pm | Category:
Tuesday, March 03, 2009

Breastfeeding While Driving

It's been a longtime since I last posted under this topic.  I guess it's largely due to little things I come across now generally wind up on my Twitter page.  But this one deserves a special calling out…

So exactly when does your brain tell you that it's okay to breastfeed your kid while driving?!  Really?  You think that's a good/acceptable idea?  I guess that's probably what you were discussing while you were talking on your cell phone at the same time!

There are days I have to question my ability and mental fitness to be a parent; but thanks to our good friend Darwin, I've got people like Genine Compton to let me know —or in this case my wife I guess, that we're not so bad after all.

Dear God, why do you let these people spawn?
March 3, 2009 @ 12:58 pm | Category:
Friday, May 16, 2008

You can’t out spit Darwin

You can try, but you can't out spit Darwin.
May 16, 2008 @ 03:33 pm | Category:
Saturday, December 15, 2007

RS: Dickheads of the Year

Being I was just trolling around the Rolling Stone site to re-find the link for the previous entry, I stumbled upon  Dickheads of the Year, My picks for the biggest assholes of 2007 by Bill Maher.  A worthwhile, entertaining piece that's worth blowing 5 minutes on.
December 15, 2007 @ 11:13 pm | Category:
Saturday, October 13, 2007

Driving While Blind

This one is from last month, I forgot to post it…

Meet Charles Hoyle, 34, of Boardman, Ohio and his two stupid buddies who let him drive  one of theirs ATV.  Ordinarily that would be very nice of them.  But not when your friend is blind!  Hard to imagine they admitted they all had been drinking before this transpired.
October 13, 2007 @ 10:05 pm | Category:
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