PolarLava::Blog

So it's a new year and a chance for new opportunities. Perhaps you have an original idea as to what you want to try on for size. In this case you need to wonder about #9, A corn cob holder. WTF! What would ever compel you to think, "Hey I bet this would be gratifying!" 🤣🤦 Me? I'm sticking with what I know best and has long been my specialty, I choose my head. I have lots of experience in this department and it's in my comfort zone at this point! What exactly are people thinking when they embark on this adventure? Darwin would surely be shaking his head. Oh, that seems intriguing...

US Government reveals 25 worst things stuck up people's bums in 2025

Meet Dwayne Lamont Moten. Unfortunately you can't because he has a previous engagement with Charles Darwin.  You see, Mr. Moten decided that Mr. Darwin should mediate his child custody dispute.



So as you can see, the child custody issue has been resolved.  Unfortunately for his rocket scientist friend, Jacob Wheeler he's got himself a new problem, a murder rap.  And I say "new problem" because this makes that "unrelated aggravated robbery charge" seem reasonable.

It's that time of the year again…the time when you can contemplate how you can best take yourself out of the gene pool.  You might garner some inspiration from the 2009 Darwin Award Winners.  Hopefully this will inspire your creative stupidity to be a 2010 winner!

If you're locked INSIDE your car, I believe the appropriate response from 911 is simply "I'm sorry, there's nothing we can do and you're going to die."  It's best for the greater good of humanity.

Following on the heels of yesterday's Breastfeeding While Driving, today we have the brain trust that goes by the name of Latreasa Goodman.  It seems Latreasa thought it was acceptable to call 911, not once, not twice, but three times to complain that her local McDonald's ran out of McNuggets.  I'll agree she should have promptly gotten a refund when she asked for one, but you can't call 911 for that.

Next we have Joe Godlewski of Cresaptown, MD who is selling "Christian Salt".  This is sea salt that has been blessed by an Episcopal priest.  And why is he doing this?  "I said, 'What the heck's the matter with Christian salt?'"  This being because TV chefs always recommended kosher salt in recipes.  Ah, once again we are saved by religion.

Darwin, please save us from the shallow end of the gene pool!